what else should i be
all apologies
people keep telling me "you have to write about this!!" when i'm recounting of the thousands of fabulous and fantastic experiences i keep being blessed with every magnificent day. these stories, tall and short, beautiful and trivial, are abundant though they have been left untold on this screen. and i'm sorry for that, if there actually is anyone out there checking in and craving updated anecdotes. what can i say? come find me, i'm the one huddled in amongst the old men around a dimly-lit bar, drinking cheap beer and sharing dreams and memories and philosophies and quips.
it seems my life away from computers, coupled with my intense need to process my experiences through retelling, is turning me into a barstool storyteller of great repute! (seriously, i walked in the other day and was greeted by a chorus of "kaen" from the characters around the bar. all began asking of my day's adventures. it was wild. i felt like.. someone between "Norm" and Bukowski...)
Friday, April 27, 2007
giggle
shootin some darts with Jessica, talkin some shit. we get to talkin about Jack White (White Stripes, Raconteurs). i say "i'd fuck him." she says, "really?" i say, "if he was a twin, i'd fuck him TWICE!"
Friday, April 06, 2007
she said sigh
he says he has this property, a wild and ragged stretch of untamed beauty.
he says he'd like to take her camping there.
he says: "you'll be wild and cool and wonderful. you'll see things i'd forgotten.. it will be great! --you already do that."
she smiles, and melts a little...
he says he'd like to take her camping there.
he says: "you'll be wild and cool and wonderful. you'll see things i'd forgotten.. it will be great! --you already do that."
she smiles, and melts a little...
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
who needs green beer?
so on st. patrick's day, i heard talk of a parade. i heard this from murmuring lips as i was leaving my flat to go to work. my ears perked as my shoulders drooped: a parade! downtown! right in my fucking 'hood! and i have to go to stinkin work! what a fekkin drag, man. i love my job, but fuck man, i LOVE parades!! i sighed slightly and made my way to work...
flash forward to the next morning. though i had enjoyed a friend's birthday bash (happy st flick!) the night before, i had deliciously avoided the green-beer-hangover. hurrah! so when i was awakened by strange siren sounds coming from what seemed like my deck, it wasn't a nuisance but a mere point of lazy curiosity. it was that sound they make when they don't quite turn on the siren - that half-blurb of whoop. you know? i just shrugged, rolled over and started drifting back to sleep.
and then the bagpipes started.
i know people for whom waking up to bagpipes would be downright nightmarish. not so with me! i instantly bolted up, loudly exclaiming "no fucking way!!!" and raced to my gorgeous deck. below me stood hundreds of people waiting to start a parade. at my doorstep!! under my smiling gaze, the marching bands and stepdancers and irish wolfhounds and leprechauns unfurled in the throng-lined streets.
i felt like a queen, entertained by loving and loyal admirers. and i loved them right back.
flash forward to the next morning. though i had enjoyed a friend's birthday bash (happy st flick!) the night before, i had deliciously avoided the green-beer-hangover. hurrah! so when i was awakened by strange siren sounds coming from what seemed like my deck, it wasn't a nuisance but a mere point of lazy curiosity. it was that sound they make when they don't quite turn on the siren - that half-blurb of whoop. you know? i just shrugged, rolled over and started drifting back to sleep.
and then the bagpipes started.
i know people for whom waking up to bagpipes would be downright nightmarish. not so with me! i instantly bolted up, loudly exclaiming "no fucking way!!!" and raced to my gorgeous deck. below me stood hundreds of people waiting to start a parade. at my doorstep!! under my smiling gaze, the marching bands and stepdancers and irish wolfhounds and leprechauns unfurled in the throng-lined streets.
i felt like a queen, entertained by loving and loyal admirers. and i loved them right back.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
wonderful
wonderful
wonderful
busybusybusy
wonderful
i love my life.
(as soon as i get a chance, i have to tell you about the parade that unravelled right before my balcony! i felt like a fucking queen. whee!)
wonderful
wonderful
wonderful
wonderful
busybusybusy
wonderful
i love my life.
(as soon as i get a chance, i have to tell you about the parade that unravelled right before my balcony! i felt like a fucking queen. whee!)
wonderful
wonderful
wonderful
Saturday, March 10, 2007
flirting
he smiles slyly: "you like to flirt with danger, don't you?"
she laughs raucously: "flirt?? i fuck it! and then i don't give it my number in the morning..."
another loud and beautiful night in vancouver.
she laughs raucously: "flirt?? i fuck it! and then i don't give it my number in the morning..."
another loud and beautiful night in vancouver.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
stumbling distance
i am LOVING my new home. deep in the city's guts, it is stumbling distance to everywhere i want to be.
stumbling distance to the pita pit where the other morning, sputtering through the haze of another-last-night's beer and tequila and champagne, i tripped into its too-bright lights and too-bright signs. i averted my eyes in pain and they fell upon the pierced, dreadheaded countergrrrl. "please, make me something," i pleaded gently, "i eat anything." she stared blankly for a second before stepping up to my challenge. "ok," she said, and went about making my mystery breakfast. grilled chicken and condiment choices i would not have made blended into a delicate, subtle taste explosion. clearly, she was a Mistress of the Pita, and i let her have her glorious way with me. thank you, Mistress.
stumbling distance to the megaplexotheatre where last night, riding a whim of sudden freedom, i met up with a friend for "Black Snake Moan" - a great movie with a lamentable ending. but a great movie and oh how i crave already to see again that scene, with Samuel L. Jackson singing some dirty bastard blues and Christina Ricci (alarmingly skinny but still sexy as ever) writhing among a mob of sweating smiles.
stumbling distance to some of the city's finest diner dining, where this morning i skipped through a sunny spring morning to sit at a weathered table and enjoy sweet sustenance while reading words like "Holy flowers floating in the air, were all these tired faces in the dawn of Jazz America." (yes, i'm *still* reading Kerouac - i've been busy dammit!!)
stumbling distance to that classic lounge where the dirty-haired hipsters muse and marvel. old school whiskey shack with sly-grinned servers and addictive characters, like the captain who inspired a fascinating fable and my wild-strawberry-and-swiss-alp-haired brit.
and where shall tomorrow's stumblings take me? i wonder, i wonder... la la la-la...
stumbling distance to the pita pit where the other morning, sputtering through the haze of another-last-night's beer and tequila and champagne, i tripped into its too-bright lights and too-bright signs. i averted my eyes in pain and they fell upon the pierced, dreadheaded countergrrrl. "please, make me something," i pleaded gently, "i eat anything." she stared blankly for a second before stepping up to my challenge. "ok," she said, and went about making my mystery breakfast. grilled chicken and condiment choices i would not have made blended into a delicate, subtle taste explosion. clearly, she was a Mistress of the Pita, and i let her have her glorious way with me. thank you, Mistress.
stumbling distance to the megaplexotheatre where last night, riding a whim of sudden freedom, i met up with a friend for "Black Snake Moan" - a great movie with a lamentable ending. but a great movie and oh how i crave already to see again that scene, with Samuel L. Jackson singing some dirty bastard blues and Christina Ricci (alarmingly skinny but still sexy as ever) writhing among a mob of sweating smiles.
stumbling distance to some of the city's finest diner dining, where this morning i skipped through a sunny spring morning to sit at a weathered table and enjoy sweet sustenance while reading words like "Holy flowers floating in the air, were all these tired faces in the dawn of Jazz America." (yes, i'm *still* reading Kerouac - i've been busy dammit!!)
stumbling distance to that classic lounge where the dirty-haired hipsters muse and marvel. old school whiskey shack with sly-grinned servers and addictive characters, like the captain who inspired a fascinating fable and my wild-strawberry-and-swiss-alp-haired brit.
and where shall tomorrow's stumblings take me? i wonder, i wonder... la la la-la...
Friday, February 23, 2007
oh what a world!
wouldn't it make a lovely headline:
"LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL"
on the new york times.
thank you to rufus wainwright for "Oh What a World" - a beautiful and joyful song that had me beaming through the hazy, thick-lidded morning. (and from whence come the lyrics above.)
and thank you to martin tielli and bjork for following on his heels, proving his point.
and thank you to my iPod's shuffle feature for knowing exactly what i wanted to hear.
and thank you to the bright-eyed, floppy-eared dog who greeted me on the sidewalk.
oh, what a world we live in.
: )
---
has it really already been a week? oh what stories and adventures! necking in dimly-lit, high-backed booths. rhubarb sugar. the secret shuffling of numbers. youtube binging with a fun, young yank. firm words with a dim-bulb-of-a-soon-to-blessedly-be ex-landlord. mystery valentines. deep and wonderful conversations and explorations. and art - oh art! if you haven't already (and especially if you like or love photography and/or theatre), please be sure to go to the vancouver art gallery for Herzog, and "Photography as Theatre." really interesting. wonderful. spectacular!
"LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL"
on the new york times.
thank you to rufus wainwright for "Oh What a World" - a beautiful and joyful song that had me beaming through the hazy, thick-lidded morning. (and from whence come the lyrics above.)
and thank you to martin tielli and bjork for following on his heels, proving his point.
and thank you to my iPod's shuffle feature for knowing exactly what i wanted to hear.
and thank you to the bright-eyed, floppy-eared dog who greeted me on the sidewalk.
oh, what a world we live in.
: )
---
has it really already been a week? oh what stories and adventures! necking in dimly-lit, high-backed booths. rhubarb sugar. the secret shuffling of numbers. youtube binging with a fun, young yank. firm words with a dim-bulb-of-a-soon-to-blessedly-be ex-landlord. mystery valentines. deep and wonderful conversations and explorations. and art - oh art! if you haven't already (and especially if you like or love photography and/or theatre), please be sure to go to the vancouver art gallery for Herzog, and "Photography as Theatre." really interesting. wonderful. spectacular!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
happy valentine's day!!
oh ducklings, how are you on this soggy love day? i hope your hearts are shining and full of compassion and joy. with heraldic spread-winged voice, i call unto you to spread smiles, spread love. i just opened an inbox full of sweet love greetings from friends across the country, and my heart is swollen with warmth. thank you to all my lovelies, and angela: for you, i am making psychic angels all day, every day in that fluffy toronto snow! : )
so, in the two weeks since i last posted i have worked close to 150 hours in 3 different amazing and fulfilling jobs, moved into a home, been asked-not-too-subtly to leave for being a "partyer," found a newer better home right smack-dab in the throbbing heart of downtown (i'm so fucking excited, just a few more weeks!!) and.. well, stuff a lady doesn't talk about. grin.
it's been jam packed full of fruity goodness, and i want MORE MORE!!!
but how to find time to tell you of the panoply of smiles i've been dazzled with; coy, beaming, shy, lewd.. how to find time to tell you of the not-one-but-two! great short story collections i've begun working on. or the profoundly amazing and inspiring plays i saw at the PuSh festival.
how to find time to tell you about the sweet delicious moments that make each day sparkle? like how Burcu gave me that hat off her head - a gorgeous black velvet fedora. or how that sultry juno-chick watched me changing the set between acts, and thought i was hot! or the big bad machines that i must stop to contemplate every day, charting their progress with light delight. or that man this morning walking ahead of me, with the pink argyle socks and strange little hat.
how to find time to tell you about the big beautiful souls who keep crossing my path? like the former punk rock bass dude who works in the downtown east side. or the gothic devil man who has a tiny dog and a big kiss for me every time we meet. or how i'm reading kerouac's "on the road," and spending hours of my days literally on the road with a reincarnated dean moriarty (as he was in the beginning of the book, not the mad/sad/broken-down version of the last chapters.)
how to find the time when i am living away from computers, nestled in the breast of experience and human warmth?
shrug. i dunno. all i know is that right now, i must work. a small theatre company full of bright shiny souls is depending on me! (insert superhero theme music here)
so, in the two weeks since i last posted i have worked close to 150 hours in 3 different amazing and fulfilling jobs, moved into a home, been asked-not-too-subtly to leave for being a "partyer," found a newer better home right smack-dab in the throbbing heart of downtown (i'm so fucking excited, just a few more weeks!!) and.. well, stuff a lady doesn't talk about. grin.
it's been jam packed full of fruity goodness, and i want MORE MORE!!!
but how to find time to tell you of the panoply of smiles i've been dazzled with; coy, beaming, shy, lewd.. how to find time to tell you of the not-one-but-two! great short story collections i've begun working on. or the profoundly amazing and inspiring plays i saw at the PuSh festival.
how to find time to tell you about the sweet delicious moments that make each day sparkle? like how Burcu gave me that hat off her head - a gorgeous black velvet fedora. or how that sultry juno-chick watched me changing the set between acts, and thought i was hot! or the big bad machines that i must stop to contemplate every day, charting their progress with light delight. or that man this morning walking ahead of me, with the pink argyle socks and strange little hat.
how to find time to tell you about the big beautiful souls who keep crossing my path? like the former punk rock bass dude who works in the downtown east side. or the gothic devil man who has a tiny dog and a big kiss for me every time we meet. or how i'm reading kerouac's "on the road," and spending hours of my days literally on the road with a reincarnated dean moriarty (as he was in the beginning of the book, not the mad/sad/broken-down version of the last chapters.)
how to find the time when i am living away from computers, nestled in the breast of experience and human warmth?
shrug. i dunno. all i know is that right now, i must work. a small theatre company full of bright shiny souls is depending on me! (insert superhero theme music here)
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
larger than life
i've just read a great quote, by anais nin: "life expands or contracts according to risk taken."
if you've been following these past few weeks, you'll know i suffered a heartbreak.
and as tempted as i may be to beat myself up for ignoring the many (and tireless) voices of wisdom that urged me these last 2 years to walk - and sometimes, to RUN away, i won't. the spirit behind my tenacious infatuation with him was inspired by beauty and passion. and as ms nin points out, it is our ability to embrace challenges and take risks that make life worth living. sometimes, we really fuck up. but sometimes, whole new worlds unfurl before us and frankly, that's what it's all about...
and anyway, i'm the one who said a few years back, in my silly profile, that i'm "larger than life." shit, with the amount of risks i take, i sure wasn't kidding!
sigh
if you've been following these past few weeks, you'll know i suffered a heartbreak.
and as tempted as i may be to beat myself up for ignoring the many (and tireless) voices of wisdom that urged me these last 2 years to walk - and sometimes, to RUN away, i won't. the spirit behind my tenacious infatuation with him was inspired by beauty and passion. and as ms nin points out, it is our ability to embrace challenges and take risks that make life worth living. sometimes, we really fuck up. but sometimes, whole new worlds unfurl before us and frankly, that's what it's all about...
and anyway, i'm the one who said a few years back, in my silly profile, that i'm "larger than life." shit, with the amount of risks i take, i sure wasn't kidding!
sigh
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